I got this quote from an anime called あの日見た花の名前を僕達はまだ知らない (Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai) or We Still Don't Know the Name of the Flower We Saw That Day.
Well, I just suddenly thought of this quote from AnoHana because recently, I have been reminded of someone I used to like. I met him more than five years ago and we haven't met since then. I don't know the exact reason why he kept on floating on my mind recently.
Well, we still keep in touch until now because we're friends and did promise not to lose contact with each other. We don't actually chat that much, only occasionally and we haven't really talked on the phone nor video called each other for around three to four years.
There are even times when we don't message each other for months, but whenever there are really important stuff, we try to inform each other.
Since I haven't seen him for years and he has rejected me in the past, my feelings for him isn't the same as before. It's not that I don't love him anymore, but somehow the affection I used to have on him has decreased. I still consider him as an inspiration, though.
He is a man full of dreams and I really want to constantly cheer for him and support his dreams. Seeing him achieve his dreams gradually makes me happy and it makes me feel proud. I am honestly proud of the man he has become and I always hope for his happiness.
Some of my friends here in the Philippines really thought that I was in a relationship with him because we were really close to each other and we used to hangout a lot when he was still staying here. They sometimes ask me how he is, and I answer them with what I know. When I told them that there is and was nothing between him and me, they couldn't believe it. Well, I did love him and I wouldn't deny that.
There was a time in the past when we talked about relationships... he was so focused on his goals and in becoming a "great man" as he calls it. It was interesting, that I found myself doing the same thing... I went back to school and took special program and later on got a teacher's license aside from the nurse license I already had. It was fulfilling.
Now, he is about to start his own company and I, on the other hand, has been enjoying my stress-free job for years now. It's interesting where the past five or so years has brought us.
My feelings for him might not have been enough, but his presence in my life has encouraged me to do my best as well. I actually want to see him again... maybe just sit down while having a cup of coffee and personally catch up with each other. Unfortunately, Japan is too expensive for me because despite having a job, I also have a lot of responsibilities and other priorities to work on.
He did mention coming back to the Philippines in 2022, but that is still uncertain. I wonder if he also wants to see me again. I doubt that. haha
Since then, I have never fallen for anyone. It's not really because I haven't gotten over him, but perhaps, I just don't feel like it. It's crazy how I am reminded of him in every little thing.
There was this one person who I had a crush on after him. I was attracted to his face at first, but it turns out he and I clicked too much! We have the same wavelength, so we became best friends instead. LOL
I honestly tried to check on my feelings towards others, but it's really different. That's why, I decided to just focus on myself, my family and my anime boyfriends. hahaha
I still want to say "HELLO again" to that person who I fell in love with. Saying "GOODBYE" to him in the past was one of the most painful goodbyes I have ever experienced in my life.
Let me end my random thoughts here because I still have to work. See you!
PS: Some of the pictures above were taken by him, while the others are mine.