Linda felt like she had been jolted awake. How the Hell could I not see this? She had been Intentionally blind. Of Course, Josh was a looker and pretty intelligent. But this was... emotional suicide. Linda pursed her lips, her eyes unseeing, she blocked out everything- the movie, the loud sound, the smell of beer, Josh sitting beside her stroking her arm. Linda had to reason out her predicament, she could not function with this onset of emotional anxiety.
Linda was a second year student at the Oklahoma Law College and till now it was the life she had dreamed of. Linda had spent all her life in Heaven- a town with a total population of 12,000. She considered her self world-wise thanks to the Internet. Her father owned a store dealing in farm machinery and hardware and she had been around the state with him, on some of his business trips. Yet, she was the third child and most of her life she had been just a stone's throw away from either one of her siblings, or her parents.
It was a surprise when she topped her class and got the scholarship- the only one for the whole county- to go to study law in Oklahoma City. Her mother had stood by her and Linda still remembered the elation at having this support. Linda's fear was quashed under the sense of wonder she felt when she came to the college. The Law College was huge even by the city standards- Three buildings divided into what seemed like hundreds of rooms. More than seven hundred full time students out of which about a fourth lived on campus.
Josh had been a wonderful friend and later boyfriend. Linda was so comfortable in her relationship with Josh, that she had talked to her brothers about him. She liked the way it made other girls jealous when they saw Josh drive her to her rooms everyday. She liked to be pampered on dates and it was one of the reasons why she had let Josh take her to this movie, though westerns were not her favorite genre. And now in the middle of the film Linda had a painful epiphany when Josh laughed out long and hard at a joke the hero cracked-
How do you get a dishwasher to dig a hole? Give the woman a shovel!
Linda began to recount the instances of how Josh had not bothered to introduce her to his friends, ignoring her temporarily, how he never allowed Linda to pay the bill, how had never asked her opinion of his sexiness. Warring with these experiences were the joys Linda had never had a chance to experience before. When the film ended and the lights came on Linda was surprised that she had missed a part of the movie altogether. Then two things happened which helped Linda make up her mind.
First was her recollection of something her mother had said when she had come to visit her- "Some of these folk are really self-obsessed, only they hide it well you know, under fancy clothing and rude talk. Don't you get cowed down by it. You are good and beautiful and damn smart. If you don't know about the city they nothing about farm machines."
Second thing was that he told her. "Great movie huh! I knew we'd have a nice time."
At which point Linda realized that Josh though siting by her side and with her hand in his, did not know or care much, as long as she was sitting there. I don't deserve this. Linda was clear that Josh was not best for her and she did not want a compromise on getting respect. She would study for now and think about other things later. She would keep her eyes open though- it was a big college after all. Maybe a new haircut was needed to improve her mood and her looks.
PICTURE CREDIT: PIXABAY.COM
