She waits for the perfect moment still. She is slimmer, wealthier, braver, healed when. When the stars spell out YES in a font she can read without squinting and the planets line up. When she is finally ready and all is faultless.
Then becomes a nation she never purchases the ticket for yet always aims to go to.When I have enough money, then.. And then, when it feels correct. Then is a falsehood we tell ourselves so we need not be afraid right now.
Her counsellor says it over and over. Now, not then. the version that's not complete. The afraid version lacking all the replies. Now means starting before you're ready, which feels like leaping off a cliff save you never feel ready; hence, you're just standing at the edge constantly getting older.
Now, not then implies that the life you desire does not need permission. Then is not in danger.
