RE: Delusions

You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

jerrytsuseer in #esteem • 6 years ago

I was never a proponent of the "Marijuana is a gateway drug" with one caveat; when I was growing up and getting into the 'scene' if you went to 'the man' to get your pot, chances were VERY likely he had other things and would tempt you.

I use cannabis to help me sleep, it makes for the easiest transition and most pleasant rest.
My issue now is that I've begun dallying with booze again, and when I do, even a couple of drinks, makes it very hard to get going the next morning.
I have very few commitments now that REQUIRE me to get up and go, so why not just stay in my warm covers?
I HAVE called out a few times in the last year for a few Dr appointments because I was hungover, and missed at least two performances.
THAT is the knife edge I am walking. Right now, I have no alcohol in the house, and I don't feel the urge to get any, but it doesn't help that there is a liquor store around the corner; I can hop in my car and be back in 10 min.

I just got back from the Grocery store, staying warm was really not an option, only in a relative sense.
Just as I was coming out to my car, a man coming towards me made a last minute decision (I could see the play in his face)
"say amigo I need some bus fare"
I don't carry cash (and I don't, generally for just this reason)

6 years ago in #esteem by jerrytsuseer

0.00 BPC

Sort:

Trending

[-]

futuremind 6 years ago

Alcohol was my gateway to cocaine, and in all respects a much worse problem for me than the cocaine. Alcohol was my "drug of choice."

I know a man who recently passed away from alcoholism. He fought it for years, and it finally took him.

Sure, many cannabis dealers are dealing other things as well, it's hard to find people that only deal with cannabis in many places. That being said, I would still just stick with cannabis if you can resist the urge to drink Jerry. Drinking is dangerous for a man like yourself, even if it wasn't your drug of choice.

If you ever need to talk, I'm willing to do a voice chat with you on discord man. I'm here for you. When it comes to my friends in a moment of crisis, nothing is more urgent. Utilize that crisis line if you cannot find someone to reach out to in a moment of crisis.

0.00 BPC

1 vote

[-]

jerrytsuseer 6 years ago

I appreciate that, but at the same time I don't understand, your offer or all the many 'crisis lines'. I don't drink because I am stressed out, because I am in pain or upset. I drink mainly from boredom and loneliness. If you and I or me and anyone have a chat, when that is over I am still alone and bored.
It changes nothing. The changes are internal and aren't (in my experience) affected by counseling.
I just started back on an antidepressant today, it may not kick in for a few days.
I don't foresee and sweeping changes though.
I have an adequate apartment, food, gas for my car, but otherwise I am isolated, I am alone, I have no friends, I don't go visit anyone and no one comes to visit me.
For the last week or more, I've been sleeping far too much, this new AD drugs is a stimulant so we'll see how that goes.
Depression is hell.

0.00 BPC