Teaching A Two Year Old

in Home Edders3 years ago (edited)

The last couple of weeks have been challenging for our family. Our home has been invaded by a case of the 'terrible twos.' Little Man is full of energy and sweet love, but there has been a strong splash of defiance added to his demeanor as of late. Frequent tantrums have become a new norm (and not a norm that we like).

For our family, home education starts the moment a child is born. Granted, there is not as great an emphasis on formal learning and curriculum at birth, but there is a "passing along" culture that develops between parent and child - a dance of human interaction.

From day one, children live life with others. They see, hear, and experience a variety of social interactions and life lessons.

The following are some of the lessons we want Little Man to Learn:


boy-317041_640.jpg
Image by 192635 from Pixabay



Lesson #1: It is ok to be upset

Feeling anger is a common human emotion. It is expected. With Little Man, we don't want him to feel like he can't be angry. We want to teach him how to react appropriately when feelings of anger boil up to the surface.

I think this lesson will take some extra time to learn (and patience from mom and dad). Right now, when Little Man gets mad, he has a few classic "go-to" moves.

  • Run down the hallway and hit the wall
  • Run into the pantry and shut the door (it does not matter if the lights are on or off)
  • If in a sitting position, he falls backward and hits his head on the floor (thank goodness he has a low center of gravity, and we have carpet).

We don't want to stifle normal human emotions. But we do want to help him establish positive ways to react when he is upset.

Lesson #2: Sometimes it is hard to communicate what you are feeling


For now, Little Man communicates mostly through his actions. But as he gets older, he will be able to communicate better with his words.

As parents, we need to remember that communication (especially when angry or sad) is learned and practiced. My wife and I need to make sure that we have reasonable expectations regarding how our 2-and-a- half-year-old communicates his feelings.

I think there are two important points to remember:

  • The entire family needs to show good examples of communicating in all circumstances, including when we are tired, upset, and sad. Little Man needs good communication role models.
  • We need to show grace to members of the family who cannot communicate clearly, whether it be due to age or personality.

I still experience moments where I am tongued tied. The point is not to deliver an eloquent speech but rather to hear others and be heard.

Lesson #3: We use our hands to serve and love


As Little Man acts out in anger, he sometimes reacts physically towards other people. Although not common, he has swatted at others when he is upset.

Just like our words, our actions are impacted when we are upset. Our hands are tools that can be used to show kindness or anger.

We have a saying in our home: "Our hands are used to love and serve." When Little Man tries to use his hands in ways that can harm himself and others, we repeat this family mantra.

As parents, we have a great opportunity to model this principle. Do our children view our hands and arms are tools of kindness or weapons?

Lesson #4: Sometimes we need to step away from the situation


This principle applies both to Little Man or another member of the family. As parents, it is important not to cross a line that you can uncross. There are have a few occasions where my wife or I have stepped away for a few minutes to gather our composure. There have been a couple of times that we call the other spouse out before a situation escalates. This gives us a chance to calm down and refocus so that we can address the situation with patience and love.

Although Little Man has not been stepping away with a controlled attitude, he needs to see the pattern and start living out the pattern of acknowledging when he is too emotional (in the moment) to discuss how he is feeling.

A few moments away can make a much-needed conversation more fruitful! Remember that the goal is not to step away to avoid a conversation but rather cool down to have a conversation.

Lesson #5: Learning to do life well with others is important

Little Man is the youngest of a half dozen kiddos. He is extremely blessed to have five older sisters. They love him dearly. He loves them as well, but there are moments when my kiddos don't see eye-to-eye. Let's be honest; there are many moments when we don't see eye-to-eye with other people.

Being a family is one of the greatest social experiments ever invited. Throwing a bunch of people into a home together for hours upon hours sounds like great TV, huh?

Because we are social creatures, we need to feel a connection with one another. We need to learn to compromise. We need to live in harmony with each other.

Although Little Man might only be 2 and a half, there is an expectation that he (and every other family member) learn to live with each other in harmony and love. That does not mean there won't be disagreements or obstacles. There will be lots!

But there is an expectation that we strive to love each other, serve one another, and uplift the other members of our family.

<h1Final Thoughts
Teaching a moody 2 year is no walk in the park. We have up days and down days. We even have some days with a roller coaster of ups and downs.

But I am reminded that intentional parenting, parenting with purpose, reaps rewards both today and a long time into the future. I hope that Little Man grows up to be a wise, caring man someday. I hope that the time and love my wife invest into him today will be life-changing.

I want to hear from you:

  1. Do you think parenting a two-year-old or a three-year-old is more challenging?
  2. What advice do you have for parents who have a child experiencing the "terrible twos"?

Thanks for stopping by!
@sumatranate

Sort:  

@sumatranate great article :)

In regards to which is more difficult - the answer is both and neither. As a father of 3 with a 4th on the way - I’ve found that the kid themselves makes the biggest difference on how difficult it is to teach and parent.

My biggest advice for parents would be to remember that kids learn at their pace - our job is just to teach and be consistent. Often the lessons need to be repeated multiple times before it feels like it’s making an impact.

Sometimes the kiddo may not be ready for the lesson - but we don’t really know when they will be - that’s why we just have to be consistent, Breathe deep, and be patient.

I completely agree that the child is the biggest factor - their personality, temperament, giftings, and weaknesses.

our job is just to teach and be consistent.

Spot on. Consistency is key, but so hard.

Often the lessons need to be repeated multiple times

Also agree. Many "teachers" (parents included) forget that the lesson is for the student, not the teacher. As parents, we can not afford to be in a check box mentality, meaning that we do a "lesson" and move on. The goal is not to check a box but to instill knowledge and experience into our kiddos.

Thanks for engaging with this post. Much appreciated!

Excellent. I am one of those who firmly believe that the family is the centre of the integral development of the individual, where we learn the behaviours that determine our future as sociable people, and where we are taught the fundamental values for our lives. Congratulations, I like it when I read about the experiences of parents who are concerned and engaged in creating healthy behaviours in their children.

I completely agree that the family unit is essential to the development of the individual members.

Thank you for your encouragement and kind words. My wife and I are doing our best to engage our children so that they can live out full lives. It is challenging at times, but I would not change anything. Blessed!

Congratulations, you are a focused and committed parent in the education of your child. Those tips are a manual -although we know that children come without an instruction manual ha ha ha- to be able to face difficult situations, nowadays our children come into the world with a load of stress caused by the environment and it is not easy to show them the right way to act, but I believe that you are achieving it, I also believe faithfully in reinforcement through words like the mantra you use that I can treasure for the rest of my life We use our hands to serve and love

@emimoron - Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

You are correct. Kids don't come with manuals 😀, but I am amazed at how much I have learned over the years as a parent. And I know there is a lot more that I will learn. That is why our journey as a family is so incredible. We all get to learn together (as a family), and as parents, we should be passing along what we have learned to our kiddos.

Thanks for the kind words about "We use our hands to serve and love." We actually picked that up from another family, and we have incorporated it into ours. I believe that we should speak truth often so that we can live it our as well through our actions.

Have a blessed day!

I do believe that it is very difficult, because I have read that this age is the so-called defiant phase of a child.
I like how you are highly responsible and passionate about creating a loving upbringing.
But as I read the headings of the different lessons, it sounded crass to me because someone once told me that I still have to learn this lesson and that was not at all positive for me 😂.
But as I read it, what you mean by lessons, I found them to be very loving and totally awesome.
But, however, it could be that your little boy might not want to have a conversation or be harmonious when he feeling anger and I don't know to what extent something might be too patronising for him. I like it when parents are like friends. I also like it when teachers are like friends. I think it is most important to be allowed to be one's very own personality and to become self-aware and to want to act out of that. It would also be a social experiment to see whether a person would no longer be defiant.
You're right, there are many moments when we don't meet other people at eye level and I'm also sure that this is very rare, so I think it's totally fair to definitely not demand this too much from little people.
But everything I've read, I'm totally convinced that you're doing a great job. Patience and love and not scolding, I think that's really great. These are things that can lead to real peace :))🍀🧡

Hey @suntree, thank you for leaving a comment.

I know that my son is not ready for some of these lessons (at least not yet). But I also know that many times I need to hear a lesson many, many times before I can understand. That is my goal as well with my son.

We start talking about things when he is young so that he can understand those things as he grows older.

I agree that we are uniquely made. That is why my wife and I need to speak with my son uniquely as well. He is not like his sisters and he might not learn about our family values and proper social interactions the same way.

We want to meet him where he is so that he can learn and grow. In the end, my hope is that my children are equipped to be the best versions of themselves in the future. We start teaching now so that they can thrive while they live in our home and all late when they are away from my wife and me. We won't rush that process because we cherish all of kiddos, but someday they will end up leaving.

We want our kiddos to have peace. Peace internally and with others!

start them young. nice

I am reminded that there are a lot of things in life that I have heard and seen over and over again. There may be lessons that Little Man is not ready to fully apply, but I do hope that he begins to see the truths early in life.

Thanks for stopping by!

Congratulations @sumatranate! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You distributed more than 24000 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 25000 upvotes.

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:

False-Positive phishing alert reported by antivirus software
Feedback from the May 1st Hive Power Up Day
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!