Sometimes you can tell,
just by looking at them.
The way they walk, that little twinkle in their eye. Are they nervous or calm? Could this be, the one?
Some only stare at the body but me, I read the body as if it's speaking to me from beyond. Long before these ladies go through my screening process, nine times out of ten, I already know what to expect.
I have x-ray vision and I can see right through them. Nothing gets past me.
As a border patrol agent, I take my job seriously. I'm protecting an entire country so if some random woman wants to shove money, drugs, guns or other contraband up her vagina, it's my duty to stop her and yank that shit out.
Money, Drugs, Guns: The things I look for in a woman...
Made you look!
And that brings me to the actual point of this article.
I'll admit, I'm having trouble adjusting to this brave new world of ours.
Being away for four months gives me a unique perspective. I dove headfirst into something completely new, yet I've been here publishing my work, forever. A seasoned veteran, who is also a noob. That's me right now. I know what I'm doing but I don't know what I'm doing.
My track record here proves I am a proponent of change. For instance, in the past, when members of the community would preach the sky is falling shortly before or after something like a hardfork or acquisition, I'll come fully equipped with a relaxed state of mind, ready with the jokes or satire, willing to shed some lightheartedness on the situation.
Being organized.
That's a good thing.
When you saw the headline and read the joke above, did you know you were reading a joke before I hit you with the punchline?
I wrote and published that joke here on this platform years ago. It's designed to catch people off guard. Attempting to write humor is one thing. Finding a way to make people on the train stare at you because you couldn't control the physical laugh spawned by the words I wrote is something completely different.
I've experimented with humor since day one here. Sometimes it's a hit, sometimes it's shit.
While others were complaining about the chaos that was Steemit for a very long time, I was busy trying to find ways to use that madness to my advantage, so all I did was exactly what nobody else was doing, and that approach seemed to work, for a very long time.
Now we have organized communities so I agree, it's probably for the best and standing out won't be as difficult, but if I were to place a few new jokes within the realm of something like a 'funny' community, that sometimes crucial element of catching people off guard in order to achieve authentic laughter, is gone.
Then there's the part about how, when attempting to be comical, the humorist has a feeling what's being written has the potential of being funny, but never truly knows until the laughs roll in. It's all like one big science experiment. "What happens if I push this button..."
There's a fine line,
between confidence and arrogance.
I can be confident in my abilities but it would be arrogant of me to assume the next line that comes out of my mouth will have them all rolling on the floor like school children during a fire alarm that wasn't "just a drill."
In the world of entertainment, those jokes you hear from the comedian during their one hour long comedy special on Netflix were tested and rehearsed in front of a live audience hundreds of times before that show was ever recorded. Those skits you see on Saturday Night Live are the result of many different writers and producers putting their heads together to get it just right. Even those humorous articles in the most popular newspapers must first pass the editor's screening process. Rarely does humor ever get released to the public before any trials, rehearsals, or reactions.
So of course I will be reluctant to ever place my work within one of the many communities centered around humor, simply because I won't know if it actually belongs there until after I hit the 'post' button.
It's not the end of the world.
Only the start of a new beginning.
As I basically stated above, I've been doing things my own way since day one.
I haven't pledged any kind of allegiance with any group here. Just a drifter, bar hopping, wherever I go is where I end up, and nobody ever seems to mind that I'm there. The Tribes I use quite often, whether it be Palnet, SteemLeo, Creative Coin or Neoxian; they all welcomed me with open arms. Maybe I'm afraid of commitment though because where I stand now, I feel it's far too soon for me to decide where I'll call home, when it comes to these new Steem communities.
Of course, my life is not over.
Some of you out there know, behind the scenes and this mask of entertainment I put on, I'm all business. I run this blog like a business.
This brain of mine automatically says, "Self. You should wait until you're handed an offer you simply cannot refuse."
I've been studying this new business model carefully, looking for potential. I've been comparing what I see with what typically happens in these situations, elsewhere.
I personally believe some of the most successful communities will first hand pick or recruit the best talent they can find, rather than opening the flood gates. Much like how a newspaper would only hire the best writers they can find, or how a record label signs a music act they think people will enjoy. They'd then give the consumer a reason to look. Once the consumer is looking, that consumer then has a reason to purchase tokens, maybe in the form of SMT's, someday, because people love spending money on entertainment, and a one time fee that allows the consumer to tip forever is a far better deal than continuously throwing money away in the form of donations or subscriptions.
Yes! I know you're all sick of hearing me say that but if you can't find a way to create enough demand for your token that outpaces inflation, chances are you won't be building that moon colony everyone dreams of, any time soon.
To Conclude
I don't mind being homeless, for now.
Even though the communities aspect is creating some confusion and inner turmoil for myself, and I don't quite know what to do with hands yet, I still know how to play my cards. Even if I fail, or can't find a home, can't decide where to live, never get an offer I can't refuse; I'm a stakeholder here and I see potential. The success of everyone else means I'll be fine.
To my friends, fans, and followers: If you've noticed I haven't been myself lately, fear not. It'll come, in time.
Going from over three years where I was 99% sure this project was too big to fail to now being cautiously optimistic has been hard on the system.
But at least I know I'm not alone.