How The Current Situation Of Isolation Seems To Be Helping The Trauma

in Project HOPE4 years ago

I'm used to having that cabin fever feeling. There were a few things I did to cope.

One was Steemit since 2016!

I have lived in a small town for the last 10 years. You have to drive to a nearby town in order to find a grocery store (15 min drive). I used to have friends in this small town!! They have moved away but I still like it, I like the quiet. Still it can be rather lonely. I coped somewhat by going to the open mic's on Wednesday nights in the next town. It has helped for sure, the owner and staff are friendly and good performers play there on some Friday or Saturday nights. My family here helped buff up the music pub before it opened, we are in construction, drywall finishing.

There's been ups and downs there, at the same time it's a real good spot for live music, a smaller town needs something like that. There's a College so it pulls in lots of young people and I really love that! The other bars in town I don't like. I only go to Tracks Pub, it's by the railroad tracks!!

Another way I've got by socially is by being a coffee buff. It's what I've done ever since I was a teen. That is one okay thing with the quarantine in my area is that coffee shops are still open, take out only. The mom and pop ones you can still walk into! So there's that for now. Been a few days since I went to town, today I did....

Lost a filling in a tooth last night... so that's why I went to town to get it fixed. Tooth doctors are only doing emergency dentistry so was lucky I got in there, it was serious enough. Just put in a temporary 'emergency' filling.

I remember when I first got that filling in 2008. I was going through a real rough time. My mom has a condition where she has hallucinations, delusions and paranoia. She moved to the town I was living in around that time. I was able to help her for a bit but she deteriorated and needed to be sent to the psych ward 'cause she stopped eating and bathing.

So this tooth - around that time in 2008 there was still a video store!! I liked to rent movies old school!! So they had this gum ball machine where if you get the black gum ball you get a fee rental. I got one!! Finally!!! Then I bit into the black gum ball after claiming the prize. It took a chunk of my molar out!! Damn! So then I go to the dentist. Never went to that one before... Well he did a real bad job. By the end of it it felt like I was chewing a rock in my mouth for a tooth!! Some time later I went to a better dentist and got it fixed. They told me yea that dentist did a bad job!!

So finally last night about 10 plus years later it came out! I wouldn't be surprised it was 'cause the first dentist did that lackluster of a job in the first place! In a way I felt such a sense of relief. I got rid of that bad energy from that shoddy job. It's like the first dentist doesn't like you so they do a bad job and charge you for it ...or it's just gross incompetence.

During this isolation social distancing crises I feel some energies fading away and new ones coming in! Whew I'm lucky and feel good to have that state of realization. It's like this shed we just tore down. My dad and I go smoke in there to get away from the cold. It's our dog house for us. Yet it's kinda crappy, we didn't build it, we deserve better!! It had that old not too good energy too. The place we have here..all the work done by the previous people was real bad. We fixed one area of the house and made it our own. It has clay walls, decent kitchen we made ourselves. I love that!! To take out the old energy and put in something decent where you feel self respect.

So now I am not able to go to the pub and I miss the small amount of socializing I am really feeling it!! It's like hyper isolation! With the fear of the virus like a boogeyman I'm flashing back to my childhood trauma and experience when my mom would say bad people were out to get us! I know this feeling, I am older now too. I feel like now people get to know how I feel sort of with the cabin fever and loneliness. In a way I feel really empowered right now. Like I could really say something and someone might listen. I feel like I can be even more social now than before this all happened!!! This is where and how it's helping the trauma. The social isolation traumas and the childhood traumas. I'm feeling my good sense again, regaining more emotion and motion. Feeling real, like I have potentials to explore and I can go places I can't quite imagine yet.

And yea tomorrow is another day, another chance. When this corona scare first hit some young ladies waved to me in their car, the other day some smiled at me at the liquor store. Even just those brief moments helps. You know all those young people are locked in school, kinda funny I get to glimpse them a bit more 'cause they are locked at home. Yea my relationships were picking up better and I was getting out more before all of this. I feel I can pick it back up even better now somehow. Gaining perspective.

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Hello @havok777

Thank you for posting within our hive. I upvoted your content already. Please spare few minutes and read how project.hope is organized and learn about our economy.

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Yours,
@project.hope team,

Dear @havok777

Very HOT topic, isn't it? Every day I wake up and go to bed thinking about consequences of this virus. On our health, social behaviours, economy and climate change (which will occur sooner or later).

ps. welcome within project.hope community :)

Cheers,
Piotr