Marriage is sweet when there’s love, peace and understanding. But when money problems enter, it can turn everything upside down. From experience and also from what I see around, financial problems are one of the biggest reasons why couples fight or even separate. It’s not just about being poor, sometimes it’s about how money is handled, who controls it, or how it’s spent.
One of the main causes of financial problems in marriage is lack of communication. Some couples don’t talk about their income, debts, or spending habits before getting married. Then after marriage, one person is surprised by the other person’s financial behaviour. For example, one may like to save while the other likes to spend. Or one may have a loan or debt they didn’t talk about before. These things start bringing tension when bills are piling up and money is not enough.
Another thing that causes financial wahala in marriage is trying to live above your means. Some couples want to live like others they see online or around them. They borrow to buy things they can’t afford just to look like they are living well. At the end of the day, they fall into debt and begin to blame each other. Marriage is not competition. What matters is peace and progress, not fake lifestyle.
Lack of budgeting is another serious mistake. A home without budget is like a car without direction. Some couples just spend anyhow without planning. They eat out too much, spend without tracking and forget important needs like school fees, rent, or emergency savings. Before they know it, there’s no money left and they start blaming each other. A simple budget can save a lot of problems.
Sometimes, financial pressure from family members can cause serious stress in a marriage. This one is very common, especially in African homes. One partner may be the breadwinner for his or her extended family and keep sending money every time without discussing with their spouse. The other person starts feeling neglected or used, and it leads to quarrels. Helping family is good, but in marriage, there must be agreement and balance.
Another major mistake is keeping secrets about money. Some people hide how much they earn, or they open secret bank accounts and make big purchases without telling their spouse. This is financial dishonesty and it breaks trust. When one person discovers the lie, it can lead to big issues. Marriage is supposed to be about teamwork, not competition or secrets.
Also, job loss or income drop can shake a marriage if both partners are not supportive. Sometimes, one partner loses a job and instead of working together to adjust the lifestyle and look for solutions, the other person starts complaining or comparing. This brings shame and depression to the one who lost their job, and the marriage starts falling apart.
Let me not forget, misunderstanding of financial roles is also a cause. In some homes, the husband thinks only the wife should manage the home with little or no support. In others, the wife expects the man to handle everything while she saves all her own money. If there’s no agreement on who handles what, there will be quarrels.
So what are the mistakes we make?
First, we don’t discuss money early enough. Before marriage, couples should sit down and talk about their financial goals, habits, debts, and dreams. You should know what kind of spender or saver you are marrying.
Second, we allow pride and ego to stop us from working as a team. Some men don’t want their wives to earn more than them, or feel ashamed if the woman contributes to bills. Meanwhile, some women hide their own earnings because they feel the man should provide everything. This mindset causes silent battles.
Third, we don’t plan for rainy days. Marriage is not always rosy. There are times when money will be tight. If you don’t save or invest, small problems can shake the home. Some even go as far as borrowing from loan apps and fall deeper into stress.
Lastly, we forget that money is not the enemy, it’s how we use it. With good communication, planning, and teamwork, any couple can grow financially no matter how small they start.
In conclusion, financial problems in marriage are very common but not impossible to overcome. It just takes two people who are honest, open, and willing to walk through it together. Money should never be the reason a beautiful home falls apart. Talk about it, plan it together, and keep the love strong.
