The Parent I Have Become

in Motherhood11 months ago

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From my childhood, I have pictured the type of parent I would be when I grow up.

The kind of parent I would be to my children and the kind of children I want to raise.

I came out from a family of six members 2girls, 2boys, a mother, and a father.

My mother always says to us that

A good child belongs to the father while the bad one is to the mother.

Therefore she said she doesn't want anyone to point accusing fingers at her.

Discipline

My mother is a good disciplinarian. My mother does not repeat a word twice. Once you go against her rules, the penalty is waiting, she always gives instant judgment. And, she does not waste time before she passes her judgment.

She will discipline you anywhere and anytime.

One of her rules is: "When she's having a conversation with somebody, and you're there, you must excuse yourself from there or you don't say a word to whatever they are discussing."

If she does not want you to stay, there is a way she will roll her eyeball or she will step on you.
After she has done all these signs and you still standing there, she will come close to you and slap you.

She has trained us to the level that if she is not around if anybody gives us anything, it must not be eaten until she permits us to eat it.

My mother trained us in a one-room apartment with no carpet or rug, just the floor,

I learned neatness from my mother when we were living in a one-room apartment. Our room is always neat. My father must not come back from work and meet the room untidy.

Care and schooling

My parents do not have much but the little they have. They try their best to invest it in their children.

We all attended government public schools because, during those days, private schools were not common the way they are this day.

My parents were able to sponsor us through elementary and high school, and polytechnic.

My parents prefer them to be without food than for their children not to eat.

Religion

My parents raised God-fearing children. They love God and also trained us in the way of the Lord.
We are always punctual at church services.

The kind of parent I want to be.

There are things I have come across in life that have helped me to be able to picture the kind of parent I want to be.

In the aspect of the discipline. The open discipline my mother usually give has given many people the chance to always give reports about us and this has kept us in our shells.

I've promised myself to always give room for my children to express themselves whenever they are involved in an argument with anybody and my judgment will be passed secretly not openly.

Once they are 10yrs, I will begin to teach them sex education because if I fail to do that, they will learn it from somewhere else and it may not turn out well.

Are you thinking my mother did not tell me about sex?

Yes, she did.

But in a different way.

This was how she taught me;

"Once you allow any boy to touch you, you are pregnant".

I was so scared of my parent that I couldn't tell my mother when I started my menstrual cycle because all I taught about was that I was pregnant.

That's so hilarious but is just the truth.

The parent I am.

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I thank the Almighty God that has been my help.
I have 4kids. Both myself and their father have been trying our best to give them quality education.

We are living in our house, a mini flat apartment.

I always have a good relationship with my daughter who is 12 years old and I knew when she started her menstrual cycle.

I can proudly say, I love the kind of parent I have become.


This is my response to the Motherhood Community on the topic;

The parent I want to become.

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My mother was also the strict type. Instead of our father giving us tough love, she was the one that gave it to us. And she thought us how to be independent by letting us do almost everything by ourselves at a very early age. For her, responsibility and accountability are an important quality for us to have. Great post :)

Most times fathers are not always around to instruct the children but the mother is always around.

Thanks for your comment @takhar

Indeed! Mothers do most of the job when it comes to upbringing a child.

You're most welcome!

I appreciate your comments on my post @takhar

This is a beautiful post. I love how you are trained and you plan and doing yours with your beautiful kids. That's amazing.

Thanks friend

My mother wasn't that strict but she was strict enough to let me know who was boss. Hehehe. Being a mother? No easy feat but one of the greatest!!

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Wow, your mum will be lovely to live with. Knowing the boss can come in a different form.
Thanks for your comment.

My dad was rather the strict one. He never hesitated to discipline us whenever we did anything wrong but one good thing I liked about his way was the fact that he always told us why he flogged us after flogging us.

You have become an amazing mother and that's great. You combined the knowledge you got from your mom and the general knowledge. That's a beautiful way to go about it.

My dad doesn't flog often but if your cup has filled, he will flog and you will have the mark forever on your body. Thanks for your comment.

Dad's😅..

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Wow, such an interesting article to read. You had a wonderful training and upbringing and I love how you have decided to be a good parent which you are to your kids. My parents wouldn't welcome any of us sitting or staying around when they are talking to someone because it's always a sign of disrespect when you do. I had a lovely upbringing too, even though there are some things I wouldn't want to do to my kids because of how it affected me today.

I enjoyed reading your article. I popped in through #dreemport

Thanks for your wonderful comment, am honored @princessbusayo

Not a parent, but what I learned from seeing people, that there's probably no correct way for parenting. Each generation tries to fix the problems they noticed with their parents but they create new problems in the process.

You mentioned discipline... My grandparents' generations were very disciplining, leading my parents' generation to be so lenient. Leading us to be "weaker" people in the process. To be honest, I don't blame any parent for how they decide to raise their children as long as they're not being brutal about it.

The part of "once you allow a boy to touch you..." was funny. It's sad, but I guess she has a point, even if she did it the wrong way, she was trying to protect you. I think. Hopefully, you're doing it better.

My mother was always strict to us, but the weird thing is my father. He was too strict when I was a child, and he's too "relaxed" since my youngest sister was born many years ago, even fighting my mother when she's being strict sometimes.

!LUV

The world is coming to an end.
I could remember then my mother will always say "During our days it wasn't like this"

Now when my children do anything funny or strange I do say as well "It was not like this when we were young".

I believe when they also grow and become adults they will be saying the same thing to their children.

Each generation has its way of doing things which is always strange to the previous generation.

Thanks for your comment.

I'm not a parent and I say "In our days..." now when I look at kids at school...

The world has been ending for many years now, who knows when it'll actually end, won't be surprised if it's 500 or even 1000 years from now. !LOLZ

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