@cyannaked can't believe her luck. She has posted 9 times since 2022. Yes 9 times in 4 years. Even 2 of the 9 posts were funding proposals for her good self on Jive and another 2 were only retweets. Hell even one of the posts was a 5 liner saying she purchased something with JBD (Jives native dollar peg token). So without retweets, her two proposals asking for dosh and the 5 liner about spending JBD, @cyannaked posted 4 times in 4 years.
The fact that she has managed to convince everyone that she was the hardest working active mofo on the Jive Blockchain was simply genius on her part and summed Hive up in a nutshell.
She had worked hard for the Jive Blockchain in the background , on Discord , on Mattermost, everywhere but on Hive. But she also let everyone know about it which was the key to building her hard working rep. Coupled with a few heart wrenching stories about her sick canary and her one eyed dog it was a perfect recipe for Jive.
However some Jive users thought that if she was a chocolate bar, she would eat herself. The meetings, the deals, the onboarding was all down to her and her alone. @cyannaked soon became to exception to the rule. Everyone that was taking funds from Jalueplan was a money grabber except cyan. She was a good egg. Nothing to see here. Everyone was to blame for Jive's demise but she was doing a good job so she was excluded from any of negativity. She was an asterix. The asterix. The old adage "Success has many fathers but failure has one" was being proved wrong. In Jive's world "Success had one mother and failure had many fathers."
Cy as the Jive users called her, was well aware Jive went from the dizzy heights of $3 to a lowly 5 cent wasn't anything to do with her deals, networking or business acumen. She has flown to conferences , organized events , took part in town halls talking up Jive. All for nothing and nothing expected for it. She loved doing these conferences and all that they entailed because she was Jive through and through. The poster gal of Jive which suited the devs and she loved it.
Until one day she thought to herself , wait a darn there second , why am I not getting a piece of the pie for all my good Jive work? Generous expenses from Jive's marketing arm Jalueplan, paid trips and also Jive sponsoring her beloved Karate Convention were not just not enough. There was too much sacrifice involved in seeing the world. She had left her one eyed dog Googles for a few days , slept in airports with only a 10,000 thread silk cushion. She missed her Nutribullet terribly for smoothies. There were a couple of times where she told people that she only ate pop-tart before she went on stage and she nearly fainted. To some this was just being massively disorganized on her part but to her it was just being too busy and dedicated to the Jive cause. She was spreading the word of Jive and that was all that mattered. People were trying to arrange meetings with Cy and rather than batting them away she could not say no. The future of Jive depends on it. If she didn't bring a lil bit of cha cha cha or che che che then these exchanges would run for the hills and delist Jive without a moments hesitation. She should have been getting paid for this all along god dam it. Hell someone as hard working as her should be on 500k per year at least. Look at CZ, or Serge from Chainlink . CZ was on at least 10 million over at Binance before he got locked up. And with Jive hemorrhaging now was the time to take action.
"Make this about you" Cy thought to to herself. And time was at the essence.
From a Jive business perspective this was suicide. If you had a CEO making deals , networking with businesses, talking to exchanges and the share price plummeted from $1 to $0.05 cent then this CEO would have been sacked long ago.But Cy was asking for money even after these price dumps. Crypto was different. Jive rewarded failure of the highest order. That karting car never got out of last place and they were receiving over 250k per year in Jive. Jive did not mind failure.
As well as this how do you know that the Jive price would have been lower if Cy didn't give a couple of jazz hands here and there to get the centralized exchanges over the line with her optimistic whimsy.
So finally she decided to put in a $85,000 JBD backpay claim to the DJF (Decentralised Jive Fund) for all her hard work that was done for free over the years and had the neck to do it in the most troublesome of times for Jive when shit had hit the proverbial fan, a depleting user base with struggling finances. Many over at Jive regarded it as a blatant cash grab and told her in the proposal comments that it was a blatant cash grab.
One Jive stalwart was so appalled by the proposal that they left the chain in disgust and jowered down (jives version of a powerdown). Something that Cy should have taken note of that this was a bad thing but she ploughed on regardless.
Many comments had read : "I am disgusted by your proposal and the timing is terrible but you have a sick canary and I like you so you have my vote." Typical Hive outrage to keep a few upvotes coming their way.
More wrote "The timing is the worst timing ever imaginable but you have my vote you legend." It was like patting a captain on the back on their navigating skills while they were cruising straight into an iceberg.
Another Jive user said that if she had known that @cyannaked was going to ask for money for the past 5 years they would never have asked her to do anything in the first place. She was good with expenses paid for the love of Jive like everyone else but wasn't worth it if there was a salary. This is why she wasn't employed in the first place.
Also some Jive users ears pricked up as soon as the proposal was getting the votes to go through for funding. They had attended a conference a year ago and did presentations/ conferences as well. Had they now grounds to claim money back?!? Hmmmmm. The token Venezuelan Jive blockchain presenter licked her lips in glee at the predicament that could put her kids through college. .
Barring her powerful fan boys many Jivers thought @cyannaked used to talk alot but say nothing at all. It was all blah blah blah yakidy smackidey. The buzz words were the key. Web3, Blockchain, Decentralised, Freedom of Speech. She could always get a good hour chatting shit throwing out these buzz words, batting away the difficult questions with ease about Jalueplan while the devs just sat there shifting awkwardly in their chairs waiting for their hour of misery on stage to end. Cy fluffed it out so they only had to talk about the actual code which they knew about and not all the politics.
With the porposal about to pass Cy calculated that she has received around 20,000JBD per post which are Ronaldo or Miley Cyrus levels of income when it cames to her own Jive social media posting. It made that 30 minute flight delay that she had going from Split to Paris for a look around all the more easy to swallow. She would buy a new dog bed when she got home for all the pain and suffering she had put Googles through. Having him in the kennels gave her anxiety that she would have to see a therapist about. And therapy was expensive.
Being on the Jive blockchain was not only about postings. Sure she was the bell of the Jive ball. She was the poster girl. She was proof that not posting meant sweet fanny all when it came to having influence. The influence was on Discord and chatting shit to the devs in power. Getting the devs onside and especially the core dev team was the key. Devs needed a bit of razz-mat-taz at conferences and she had it in bundles. It was the only way to make Hard Forks exciting. . Some Jazz hands, a bit of razzle dazzle and some chats would make the devs feel like a million dollars. Soon she would be at the top tables with the uppercrusts nodding about how Jive was going places while the metrics said otherwise.
Some Jive users would have been happy if she staked the funds from her proposal but she was not going to commit to it instead giving long winded replies to anyone who suggested it. Her long winded replies bored the life out of people so they just left it be. It was the equivalent of an energy vampire in text format. Like reading the Dead Sea Scrolls. Even they weren't even as long. It was actually a really clever response mechanism.
The talk on Discord was that it was a watershed moment on Jive. The moment where Jive lost itself and would go to 4 cent having this selling pressure on a token which was in low demand. The golden girl had finally turned. She was now like all the rest of the leechers and moochers out there and with no metrics to show for the JHF payments.
How could she sleep at night? thought some but did not say it.
Does she not know that the Jive blockchain was on its knees?!? Given her closeness to the top brass you would have thought so!
If she cared so much, like she said she did , then it wasn't the time to be syphoning money from the blockchain.
But the people with stake had spoken. She was getting her JPD.
3 quarters of the way through her payments now and there hasn't been a whisper about it on chain. Not even a comment. That was Jive through and through. It was just accepted. It just went away and 85,000 JPD was transferred to @cyannakeds wallet. All but a few thousand, The whales had spoken and thought it was better just to pay out than avoid any confrontation with the populists. Even Cy herself went quiet. Her last comment was defending the proposal vigorously but once it was passed, it was business as usual. Radio silence. But what else did the Jive Community expect? She had form for this over the last 4 years. What would be the result of the cash grab? Absolutely nothing you would expect.
The Jive maximalists do not trust her anymore. The Latinos and Africans dislike her for the extreme sums of money being funded to her. It is always the way with Jive funding. People get jealous.
Some Jive users said they would be weary with her in case they would get an invoice down the line for works completed back in 2021. Will she charge by the hour at the next Jivefest?!? thought some.
Jive users that were considered friends suddenly were distant. She was disappointed to see some of her Jive friends not agreeing with her proposal. It was all well and good until money got involved. @cyannaked found her friend base narrowing. She had sold out. Many Jive users had. It was not uncommon but she was disappointed by this as Jive was a major part of her world. It was not the right thing to do and the timing was terrible but at the time she had to look after herself if Jive did not work out.
But her plan worked. It was all very easy. Probably the easiest $85,000 anyone will ever worked for. Just one long post and a few very very boring draining long replies over a couple of weeks and it was all done and dusted. She was now a relatively well off woman for the year while Jive continued to sink down the swanny. She ceased her interaction on Hive since she was awarded the funds . Not one comment or reply since the proposal passed. The funds were also quickly dispatched to a centralized exchange and turned back into good old reliable centralised cash money. Everything that she was preaching against . What many did before her. It was not wrong. She had every right to. She worked her butt off on her image of being the all caring all loving for Jive. She was just taking her cut. The latest 17k had arrived in her wallet. Time to withdraw. Should I leave a comment, write a post , curate, promote Hive. Nahhhhhhhhhhh.
My next post is when I need more money. Maybe August or September when I need to go to Barcelona and sit on stage with the nerds again saying Hive is the future. Hopefully Hive will be more than 6 cent by then and I can starting drafting my uber long Hive post for this in a few days coming up for ways to say I am worth another 85,000 to the chain. Would Jive pay for her plane ticket this year she thought to herself?!? She would be disappointed if it was called off for lack of funds in this troublesome time. Could she show her face there now that she was part of the problem. It may be difficult. Maybe she should just make an excuse about Googles having to get his leg amputated. It troubled her about the timing of her 10th post since 2022. Will it be asking to continue her payments before or after Hivefest? Before a haircut or after the haircut? Hmmmmmmm. This calls for an extra long post. Lets get going. [cracks knuckles]
Versiiiiiiooooonnnnn 1 .
I spent 3 months agonizing over this post because I was disappointed with the comments with my last proposal and it depressed me for months and then my canary just died so apologies if I have not been on chain. This is why I am making this post today. I am looking for 85,000JPD for works do in the future. .........................................
😂
