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I grew up where conservatives are values — respect your senior citizens, talk as it were when talked to, dress humbly, supplicate continuously, address nothing. There was consolation in that structure, like strolling a way as of now cleared for you. No speculating. Fair acquiescence. Fair convention.
And for a whereas, I attempted to fit that shape. I cited the rules, kept my suppositions calm, gestured in rooms where my heart whispered dissent. But over time, the form started to feel tight. Not since I needed chaos — not at all — but since I needed space to think. To breathe. To be.
I begun taking note the splits. The way convention some of the time implied quiet for a few and control for others. The way certain “values” were utilized to prohibit rather than elevate. The way questions were treated like disloyalty. And I realized — perhaps I'm not truly a preservationist. Perhaps I never really was.
I still accept in a few of the center things:
teach, dependability, community. But I moreover accept in advancement. In challenging frameworks that as it were work for the advantaged. In standing close to those whose voices have been disregarded. In letting confidence develop instead of constraining it to solidify.
Names do not sit well with me any longer. They're as well little for the complexity of thought, the development we go through when we really *tune in*. When we halt performing conviction and begin living it.
So no, I'm not truly a preservationist. Not in the event that it implies closing my eyes to alter or closing my heart to those who are distinctive. I need to hold the most excellent of what came some time recently — the shrewdness, the stories — whereas making room for a world that's more extensive, kinder, more free.
And in case that puts me exterior the box, I'm affirm with that. I'd or maybe be genuine than inflexible.