Figure it out, the counsel provided when someone is reluctant to help. You're brilliant; find it out. Translation: I have finished explaining; solve this yourself. Parents claim that it fosters independence. Bosses assert that it is shirking responsibility. Friends tell it when you are weary from your regular troubles.
Sometimes tough love is needed to help someone figure things out. Learning is prevented by hand-holding. struggle strengthens the problem-solving abilities. Timing, however, is crucial; some learn swimming while others drown flung into deep water. Good instructors vary from lazy ones by knowing when to lead as against when to encourage figuring it out.
Life lacks manuals. Every one of us is constantly learning: relationships, job, parenting, life itself. Some issues, however, call for resources we do not possess and knowledge we lack. Not everything can be figured out on one's own. Sometimes figuring it out means ask for help, not suffer in isolation.