This would usually come in a form of a "toilet vlog"!
If you know me and follow me for a while you know very well what I am talking about. But now I don't even feel like I can get in front of the camera to do this.
To have this conversation with you all and also with myself.
Lately have just been feeling very low energy and motivation to get out there and create new content to keep everyone entertained. Because I have not been in a mental state that creating it is fun and entertaining for myself.
All my silly vlogs, reviews, photoshoots or whatever I creatively create are ways for me to fill my days and my life with something that makes me happy.
Although I am not miserable I am just in a phase that I don't feel that this process will be making me happy. And that is upsetting because it is something that I have always done for myself. So to be in this position where not even this creative process is making me happy is very sad and not motivational.
I have never felt that having therapy of any kind would be something for me. I really don't feel that it would be constructive. But also at this point I no longer see it as something negative. More than ever I am considering look for it.
For any reason I can't explain why that process and that help might be something I could benefit to become better, happier and get out of this cycle.
I have admitted this to myself and for me that is a huge step and a step in the right direction.
Will keep you all updated when it comes to this situation, if it is pertinent. Because maybe this system that I use right now of "oversharing" and talking this way with myself and others there it might be part of the problem. Who knows at this point... not me.
I am alright and I will keep working on myself and getting even better. Thank you all that have read this. The reason I share it and share this emotions and feelings it is with the hope that maybe if anyone out there have similar situations, you guys might take something positive out of me opening up this way.
Thank you for listening.