Reflection Time
Anyone who reads my posts regularly well know that I'm a proud father. I have three sons aged four six and ten. They look up to their Mum and I (they're still quite small like). How we parent them will help to mold them into the adults that they will become in the future. It's clear that a loving home is one of the most important things for a youngster, an environment where they can safely test the boundaries and know that no matter what they do they will still receive the love and respect for from their parents. That is something all children crave. That safe space and unequivocal love.
We are role models for the boys. This is a very important job for any parent and for any adult for that matter who spends time with young children. I am also a brother, an uncle, a football coach, a hurling coach, as well as a Dad and all of these roles require me to be a good role model to young kids. I do my best to instill a good attitude and honesty in to my own boys and indirectly to other kids who spend time with me. I find a big part of that is to have a bit of fun with the kids but also to listen to them. Kids that feel like they're not listened to are kids that act out and find themselves in trouble oftentimes. After all we are all human and we all want to be listened to, whether young or old. Respect is a two way street though, so you need to respect the kids and their opinions also, if you want them to respect you in return. There's a difference between respect and fear.
Influence
We need to be aware of the influence that we have on the youngsters around us, that could be family, peers, teachers and other adults in society. Each one plays a part in influencing our children and how they behave, grow and develop.
Young kids are like sponges and pick up every little thing that they see, hear and experience. In early life they learn mainly from their parents and family but as time goes by and they grow older they start to pick up habits and behaviors from peers and role models in society.
You can have a huge influence on young people's lives without even knowing it. So try to make sure that your influence is a good one and help to put them on the right path in life. Don't be afraid to call things out if they are wrong or unjust. Help them to understand the difference between right and wrong and that this starts with the smallest minute details in life. Show them what it is to be a good, fair, kind and honest human and everything else slots into place.
Role Models
I mentioned role models.Let's drill a little bit down on that statement around role models. The role models that we see in society for our youngsters today leave a lot to be desired in my opinion. For a lot of the young boys and girls their role models are overpaid and often spoilt multi millionaires taking to the fields of sport such as soccer or basketball. For some the role models are rich models like the Kardashians who in my opinion are not the greatest of role models for our young people growing up. In the interests of fairness though, there are some great role model footballers like Mane and Kanté to name two, they are not all money hungry megalomaniacs.
As parents my wife and I always have to be careful of the conversations we have around 'little ears" as we call them. It's funny how when you're asking the kids to do something like "empty the dishwasher", they can't hear a word but when they want to listen to something that doesn't involve them they can hear it from 1000 meters away!
It's not just parents however; I think everybody in society needs to be cognisant of the fact that they are an influence on other people particularly those younger and less mature than themselves. They should remember to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner that's a good influence on those that are watching them and observing how they behave.
Be there for them
If you have young people in your life try to be there for them. Try your best to listen to them and hear what they say. Be their sounding board. I try to have that open relationship with my sons and hope that they'll be honest and tell me everything and confide in me.
Inevitably they won't want to tell me certain things. That's normal as I mean I certainly did not tell my parents everything. There are other adults you might confide in though or seek advise from. So if you have nephews, nieces, younger brothers, sisters, always be there to listen as they no doubt have a lot going on. Try to be that person who listens and gives them time and space to vent. It's not easy being a young person.
These days kids have a lot to process and handle and its not that easy being a kid in the modern age. I think I had a lot more freedom as a child growing up. I could go out for hours at a time playing outside with my friend building huts, playing in the fields and having a certain amount of freedom that is lacking for modern day children. Fair enough I did all my jobs around the house for hours first, but then I got great freedom for hours.
There is a tendency to want to wrap our kids up in cotton wool and protect them from the "big bad world", but the truth is doing this will actually stifle their chances of being successful in this world of ours. We'd be much better of encouraging some independence and responsibility from a young age. Let them make their own mistakes and fall down every once in a while. After all that is where the learnings really come from. Instead be there for them when they need you and be a good influence on n them.
Thanks a million for reading my post
Peace Out
