Everything happens for a reason.
This is what I believe, so I tend not to regret about anything. I am also the kind of person who faces challenges that's in front of me. I don't want to regret anything, so I do what I think I should. And if in case I fail, I will either try again or accept and move on.
Day 23 of the 30-Day Blogging Challenge is about our greatest regret in life.
In life, I have made a lot of wrong decisions that I sometimes question myself up to this day, "What if I didn't do it? OR What if that thing didn't happen?" However, almost immediately, I'd answer my own question with, If it didn't happen, then I wouldn't be able to do this and that." It might appear that I'm justifying things, but in all honesty, I end up not regretting anymore.
Take for instance my transfer from my first high school to the second one. At first, I regretted it because I had a really great relationship with my high school friends back in the countryside. I thought to myself, "If I didn't transfer, I would have had a great time my whole high school years! I might have not need to adjust to the new environment, etc." However, when I think about it now, "If I didn't transfer schools, I wouldn't have met my best friend. OR I wouldn't have experienced partaking in Talisay's American Landing."
Because of these what ifs, I became more interested in the concept of "MULTIVERSE". I sometimes imagine myself in another universe if I have made a different decision at certain times.
However, there is one thing that's so difficult to imagine... and this thing is what I regret the most in life.
Around 12 years ago, my grandpa was hospitalized for a couple of months here in Cebu. I was still a nursing student then. Since he was in Cebu, I could visit him after my classes and take care of him, too.
I super love my grandpa. After I graduated in elementary, my family had a very huge crisis which made us come up with the decision to go back to the countryside and live a simple life there. I got a scholarship at school, but I still had to pay for some extra fees. My parents had nothing that time... because of what happened to our previous house and stuff, so my grandpa paid for everything I needed.
When I graduated from high school, my grandpa helped me convince my aunt to pay for my education because my family was still struggling, so even if my aunt was not very willing, she agreed because of grandpa.He really played a great role in what I have become today.
Going back to that time when grandpa was hospitalized.
He had liver cirrhosis, meaning his liver isn't functioning well because of the damage which accumulated over the years. It was on the final stage and the doctor refused to operate him because it's too risky due to his age. Grandpa also didn't want to undergo any procedures and just wanted to go home to Negros, my papa's hometown.
When I heard of this decision, I told grandpa that I want to go with him. Unfortunately, he didn't allow me because I was about to have my major exam that time and I had to study for it. He told me to come visit him after my exam, though. So I promised to go to Negros as soon as I finish my exam. My papa went home with him.
A couple days later, it was the first day of my exam. My mama received a message from papa that grandpa is no longer around. I felt shattered that time. I was feeling really sad and angry at myself because I didn't insist on going home with them... and I also felt upset because grandpa didn't wait for me to go home.
That day, mama went to Negros. I promised grandpa to visit after my exams, so I had to wait for the week to finish. Early on Saturday morning, I took the first bus going to Toledo City and rode the ship going to Negros. The travel felt so long that I don't know how I was feeling.
There were a lot of people when I arrived in my grandpa's house. There were white flowers everywhere... and then I saw him lying cold inside the coffin. I broke down. "Why didn't you wait for me? Didn't we promise to spend time after my exams are over?"
I regretted not being able to be with grandpa on his final hours, minutes, seconds. I wanted to be there, but I couldn't. I could have been there, but I kept my last promise to him.
If only I could rewind those days, I would love to spend not only my summer with grandpa. I would spend more time listening to his ghost stories and math magics. He was an amazing person and even though a lot of years have past since he left, I still love him and am always going to be grateful to him. I miss him!
So, people... try to leave no regrets as much as possible. :) Spend more time with your loved ones, do the things that you love to do and make every second of your life count!
Thanks for reading my Day 23 entry. See you tomorrow for Day 24. (^_^)/
