WTF: Cheater Overexposed

in Reflections15 days ago

We Talk Friday

(WTF)

This is a semi-regular series that I will run on Fridays to hold discussions on a current topic from the week gone. The aim is to keep them light and conversational, though some might be heavier - regardless of the content topic itself though, just have some fun engaging and discussing with whoever happens to put in the effort in the comments section below.


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We Talk Friday Ep. 18: Cheater Overexposed

For the last couple days, there has been a "viral" story of a man and woman put on a Kiss Cam at a Coldplay concert, and once they realised, quickly hid from view. Chris Martin joked about them having an affair or being very shy, and a concertgoer who filmed it put it on Instagram. Apparently, the couple are the CEO and head of HR at a large tech company.

Now their jobs are under review.

So, regardless of whether cheating on a partner (the CEO is married) is morally right or wrong, do you think it is up to a company to make a moral judgement considering that adultery is not a crime in Boston, Massachusetts? And yeah, a company can have all kinds of morality clauses packed into work contracts and the like, but these are apparently two consenting adults. And one of them is head of HR

She knows her rights.

But this aside, do you think it is okay to put video of random people you film on the internet? I see these stories of women filming men who look at them in the gym and getting support, but I don't think people should be filming themselves in the gym anyway. I also don't think that they should do it in places where people in the background can be seen, or become the focus. I don't want to be randomly filmed. Not only are they filming, but they are publishing the video into a public space with the intention of drawing attention to it in order to get some form of payment, whether that is monetary or social.

Aren't there consent laws?

At least in Finland, filming in public spaces is fine as there is no expectation of privacy, unless it is in places like a public bathroom where there is an expectation of privacy. But, publishing that content publicly generally requires consent. As soon an identifiable person becomes the focus, it requires consent. This means, the person who published the clip of the two cheaters, broke the law by Finnish standards.

And to go one step further, commercial use always requires consent. And when it comes to social media with people who are looking to get some form of payment for their content - doesn't that become a commercial action? If this publishing woman's account now gets monetized because of a viral clip, her account has become a commercial enterprise and what she is selling is the content. Again - breaking Finnish law.

People cheat. Millions of people cheat every year in the US alone - yet the majority don't have their faces published around the world, nor do they lose their jobs because of it. These people aren't celebrities - they are just two people fucking around. The social-driven internet is a cesspool of race to the bottom behaviours in the quest for attention. It isn't about being good at something, it is about ridiculing and judging others who are probably doing better than most at being good at something.

And the desire for attention is only getting worse.

Taraz
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I think the morality clause is the key and the fact that the other person is a superior. It's an imbalance of power and can open the door to liability. Boards usually don't like that sort of thing. That aside, they are definitely two adults and what they do in their private life shouldn't matter too much. It does kind of show a lack of judgement and people might wonder how far that deficit stretches.

It's an imbalance of power and can open the door to liability.

Two professional adults who have worked their way up through business for decades. I am not sure whether imbalance of power applies in this case. I don't support the "subordinate" judgement in many cases. Still adults. Still in full mental capacity.

It does kind of show a lack of judgement and people might wonder how far that deficit stretches.

Remember that the President of the US is a convicted criminal :D

Ultimately it doesn't matter what we think. It's what the board of the company thinks if they have one. That or the shareholders. Sometimes the why doesn't always make sense.


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Weirdly, photographs from the footage together with speculation was published in at least one of our national newspapers. I didn't know the back story, not that that makes any difference, but I couldn't see what the "news" angle was.

There is no news angle, other than more outrage and internet pile on.

Part of me hopes they will sue, although I imagine they have enough to cope with going on.

This is a subject that seems to me to be of great importance. Over the years many people have called me paranoid about it, but I also don't like being filmed or photographed without my consent. I hate being in a meeting with someone who not only doesn't stop paying attention to their phone, but has it up pointed at you, and you don't know if they're actually typing (or doing something else) or if they're recording or photographing you without your consent.

I think this is something that should be punishable all over the world, and not just in some, as it is now. And whether with a phone, or any other device and context, recording or photographing someone should require consent in all cases. That's my take on the issue.

hate being in a meeting with someone who not only doesn't stop paying attention to their phone,

And then most also have "listening on" which means it listens to everyone.

Who knows what going on in their private life. May be the spouse pretty aware aboutbit and there might e some announcement yet to come from both parties. The issue here is only people with social recognition get into the limelight. I never heard of that company either but now learned about it. A companies has always been treated as a separate entity, and this action were happening outside the office area (for the time being). I doubt the the company is affected their ceo personal life.
Adultery or PDA is still not recognised in many Asian countries but the new generation is slowly breaking all the barriers. This is where the culture and tradition is gradually decaying.

This is where the culture and tradition is gradually decaying.

And I think it is also that the internet encourages a race to the bottom homogeneity of participants. Everyone gets worse, and the next will get worse again.

So he had his arms around her at a concert.

Don't married couples dance with other people when they go out to bars, and that's not considered cheating apparently.

Even if they are cheating, is it anyone else's business but theirs?

Well , they took a risk and did not pay up. You should always be careful when you are not honest, ri9ght?

Sure, but they are also in a crowd of 50,000 people :D

When you got bad luck, you got bad luck.

Reminds me of a couple (husband and misstress) going all the way to Dubai, only to meet with the wife bestfriend in there. You can't make this us, and the Coldplay stuff is even better than that.

I think it would be fair to pay compensation for the loss of these two people's jobs. And for the person who published this to pay. A workplace romance is a personal matter.
My wife probably won't agree with my thoughts.

And for the person who published this to pay.

Any money made, including that from the media news outlets, should pay also.

While I am not a fan of adultery I think posting people doing stuff online is not entirely OK either. Now these two have a serious situation on their hands and potentially damage to the company and the shareholders...

Who knows what is happening in their private lives. But, there is no need to out other people's lives, for attention.

I think it sucks for everyone involved because maybe the wife knew about it and was just keeping quiet and now has blown their marriage wide open. That is a possibility and could be far off, but what if that was the case? This has gone viral and yes there are two marriages screwed now and maybe that is good or bad. Cheating has always been around and I do think one has to be careful what they post and surely common sense tells you something is wrong and to just not post it. I do not condone cheating, but everyone lives different lives and it works for some people.

I do not condone cheating, but everyone lives different lives and it works for some people.

Nor do I, but it happens. What I dislike more is the people posting this shit for attention. It is pathetic.

Undoubtedly, in such cases, keyboard judges are the order of the day. With total absence of empathy in many. It's exhausting. A lot of people would rather live in a lie than speak out. On the other hand, I think it will be cheaper for the CEO to hire Coldplay for an intimate unplugged, than everything he will have to pay in the feasible divorce.

With total absence of empathy in many.

But full of uncontrolled emotion themselves and expect to be treated as special snowflakes.

Snowflakes that normalize what's going on, so many things that it shouldn't be like this. How society is normalizing what harms the other. Because exposing them in this way is terrible, after all it's personal life. I also think that going to a concert of this band, so famous, anyone can see you, with the kisscam, maybe it's a way to free yourself. Will it be???

A fascinating take, it really highlights how blurred the lines have become between public moments, privacy, and digital morality in today’s viral-driven world.

There are cameras everywhere, but that doesn't mean we should condone intentional publishing of people's private lives.

Cheating is becoming more rampant these days that the people who find themselves doing so doesn't care for the outcome even if it might lead to public disgrace as this actions is becoming like a common thing to do.

Should it lead to public disgrace though? Isn't it a private situation?

But this aside, do you think it is okay to put video of random people you film on the internet? I see these stories of women filming men who look at them in the gym and getting support, but I don't think people should be filming themselves in the gym anyway. I also don't think that they should do it in places where people in the background can be seen, or become the focus. I don't want to be randomly filmed. Not only are they filming, but they are publishing the video into a public space with the intention of drawing attention to it in order to get some form of payment, whether that is monetary or social.

Dear @tarazkp !
I think it's dangerous to post videos of random people on the internet!
It could harm the people in the video!

By the way, I've always wondered why you freely post personal photos of yourself and your family on the internet!
Have you ever considered the possibility that your personal photos and those of your family could be used by others for malicious purposes?

Have you ever considered the possibility that your personal photos and those of your family could be used by others for malicious purposes?

Yes I have. If people are going to be cunts, they will find a way.

This news has been really very viral, but mostly presented as a joke over various online platforms. I just saw it a couple of time on Instagram.
But being very honest it's soo bad, I mean what could be the intentions of both of them, but it's so bad seeing such cheaters.

but mostly presented as a joke over various online platforms.

Is it a joke for the people involved?

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Fuck around find out.

Wanting privacy out in public seems like a bit of a contradiction. Maybe the people of Finland have a little more common sense than Americans as a whole?

People who do things and expect that the consequences for their actions as a direct result are unfair should reconsider their actions if they don’t like it. Basic logic and learning in the real world.

In your example, as the female in the gym filming hoping to catch someone looking at them so they can turn that attention into a different kind of attention by publishing it, I don’t get it. Many of those people wear lingerie level revealing clothes to the gym these days and wonder why they get glances! If I am in a place with attractive people and an absolutely fantastic ass presents itself hidden only by a 10th of a millimetre of stretchy fabric, I am probably gonna look. Not saying it is right and I know there will be consequences to my actions if I stare, or linger to make someone uncomfortable.

Those twits hoping to keep an affair secret by assembling with 30000 people where every person has a camera…well, they are finding out.

The internet is an incessant parade of idiotic decisions the world likes to enjoy for entertainment. They can complain all they like.

Honestly, this entire story fascinates me. There's NO WAY Coldplay just randomly focused on this cheating couple in a box suite and made that comment without knowing. Coldplay is a group that has taken huge stands against governments and supported many important social causes. They played one of my favorite Super Bowl halftime shows with very affirming LGBTQ messaging for an American Football game that would never get a pass now in our current political climate.

All this to say, fuck around and find out!

On the phones in public spaces, it is a bit of a gray area. I see this all the time in the dark clubs late at night when my favorite eletronic dance music is playing. Some people want to enjoy the moment and get lost in the music. Others want to record the moment so they can relive it forever. Im recent years, the phone crowd is winning. At more and more events, I see people more focused on capturing the moment than enjoying the moment.

I'm guilty of this too, especially when I'm at a show to do coverage for Moon Lvnding rather than enjoy the show for what it is. I try to focus on the artist, the production, and spectacle... but sometimes there are faces in the crowd that just get caught up in the party.

At least I'm glad that the proliferation of mobile phones has kept police slightly more accountable for their actions. Now we have armed police forces with faces covered and hidden badges. I'm much more scared of this, than people having their lives ruined for some bad choices they made at a concert.

 15 days ago Reveal Comment