Rose has just had an afternoon siesta and was hungry but then she was too weak to cook. It was her responsibility for the sake of her child in her who was seven months old and her husband who would be coming home by seven. It was 5pm.
She planned on cooking soup which would take about an hour but then she had an ongoing church program that had already started at five and would end for an hour. She used about 20 minutes to prepare the necessary in the kitchen, washed her face, sprayed some perfumes and readied to go. The plan was that when she comes by 6, she would continue the food preparation whilst cleaning the house and refreshing up before her hot tempered husband comes home by seven or thereabouts.
Hello comrades, it’s another pleasure to be here again and it gives me so much joy to write inspiring articles which I so much believe can make positive impact, relieve oppressions and as well give tangible moral lessons whilst educating on know-hows on different areas of life.
The league has resumed even though I am sad that Premiership league giant Liverpool FC started their first game with a draw against Fulham. I casted a lot on them winning but they disappointed me still I will always be their number one fan.
Anyways I am sadder than what has happened in the league. I wish I could take my eyes off from these evil called domestic violence in the family, I wish I could cover my ears to the evil information about recurring incidents of deadly domestic violence in the family and society. My heart is heavy as I write the story of lonely Rose and I cried when I finished her story. It was so hopeless comrades (tears on my face now)….
Rose rushed out from church service promptly before six and half ran home being heavily pregnant. She knew it was her first son in there. She had felt strong kicking and had prayed to God concerning her pregnancy and concerning her husband as well. Like other people dreamed of, she also wanted a great family…..a loving husband, beautiful kids, a good house and a beautiful life. At least she hoped for them as she semi dashed home to set off her remaining plans when she saw her husband dreadfully staring at her, waiting at the door.
She stopped and stared at him for a while. She didn’t want to be afraid. There wasn’t any reason to be. He just came unusually early that’s all, but the stare….
“I..I didn’t know you would be back early” Rose checked her phone as she hurriedly went to him. He didn’t say a word as he threw himself inside and Rose following from behind.
She would just go straight to the kitchen and be done with the food, she thought.
Her husband turned around to his heavily pregnant wife who was already wide eyed and demanded his food, and before the woman could stammer her reply, he broke her nose with a blow (can’t control my tears now comrades). Rose was seriously stammering and holding her bleeding nose while trying to point at the kitchen perhaps to make him understand that she had already pre-cooked and that it wouldn’t take much time anymore for his food to be ready.[source] (https://images.app.goo.gl/fksuvosKgmC5YiYi6)
Another blow landed at her neck.
She fell on her knees and stopped trying to talk. Now she was holding her neck where the blow had landed with both hands while blood oozed crazily around her nose. She felt the child kicking in her again and tried to get up but all she heard was her screaming husband saying she was so stubborn and at the same time shoving light kicks on her stomach and as she protected herself, his kicks became heavier and heavier. Her screams could not come out well for her lungs were choked with blood, in the midst of the survival struggle she accidentally bit on her tongue. The pains were excruciating and unbearable that she died instantly.
Her husband continued kicking furiously after she had died long gone untill he came to his senses and in the process of smuggling her corpse out for burial, he was discovered and apprehended.
That was the end for lonely Rose.
That was the end of a young woman’s dreams.
This same fate so many women have received over the past times and even recently.
Three days ago in my state Delta, a man popularly known as MOB who is currently on trial murdered his heavily pregnant wife who was known as Beatrice(only first name released) because he had come home to find her unavailable and his dinner not prepared and her house chores not done. She had come back later, denied explanation and was beating to death. A very similar story to Roses’.
How many women has their dreams been cut off by men? How many women has their life been cut short by monsters in disguise?
The heart of a man is supposed to be kind, God fearing and strong. There is evil in the world that I understand. These evil is bent on birthing frustration into the heart of men every where they set their foot into. This frustration can come through family, work, social peers, spouse and even from the society. It is unavoidable. But then, shouldn’t your heart be strong so as not to fall into its temptation? Shouldn’t your heart be strong so as not to be overcome by this evil of frustration?
A man’s heart should be strong and set aright that he may not easily be distracted and overcome when frustration comes.
Still he cannot rely on his strength alone. When he is God fearing, he would pray to God to rescue him. He would call on God to strengthen him. He would call on God to set him straight that he may not fall into temptation. He would call on God for wisdom and guidance in handling frustrated situations.
And his heart should be kind enough not to retaliate with violence. His heart should be kind enough not to totally neglect one who is being used as an instrument of frustration. The frustrated one obviously needs help, he is a target because of his weakness but a kind heart can patiently lead him back to truth. All these are mental responsibilities of a man. If a man doesn’t posses the fear of God, a kind and a strong heart, he is an empty vessel waiting for a host.
It is so bad today that our technology advanced world has taken the relationship man had with God to itself and therefore man has lost his place in the presence of God. As technology advances, man gets farther away from his Maker. How can he be God fearing when he runs to digital for problem solving? When he goes online, he sees how women are put in place and he experiments it at home only to find drastic consequences later on….One thing that a man should know is that as technology advances to make work faster and easier, it can never be as patient as God.
A man should rely on God for the strength of his heart. If a man has a weak heart, trouble would never cease in his home. Men go out these days to find strength in the bar, brothels and among their peers. These places mentioned cannot guarantee the strength you need to overcome frustration instead they would open another road of no return for you. God’s wisdom and good counsel falls mostly on patient elders and men of God. Seek them diligently and God may use them for the strength your heart needs. Do not avoid the elders for wisdom and counseling because they have been through that road which you have just started the journey.
In marriage, men should not solely rely on their judgement for they can be cloudy sometimes. A cloudy judgement invites potential disaster. Whatever had frustrated Rose’s husband shouldn’t give him the right to hit his wife to death. His judgement was cloudy. He might think he was giving her moral discipline or straightening her ways but the end result took her and their child’s life. It should be a shame when men can’t use their tongue to correct their wives but their fists. It only portrays their weakness in a disgraceful dimension. A woman might be a talkative or a nag, she might be lazy or immoral, she might also be an instrument of frustration thus the need for correction. Remember that a woman is weak and fragile, her heart may not be as strong as yours. If you used fist or weapon on such a woman as your wife, what would you use on your enemy, tongue?
It would be so shameful unto men who use fist against their wives and tongue against their enemies. There is no other sign of weakness under the sun than that from such man. A strong man uses his tongue to control his wife irrespective of her temperament and uses his fist against the intruder irrespective of the gender and status.
The woman is made out of you and for you alone. Why would you hurt her especially when you can’t hurt yourself. Why would you torture her and make her suffer even as she carries your child? Why would you make her pay for your sins? Why would you cut short of her dreams? They can never be as strong as you are physically, emotionally and mentally. Men should try to understand this before taking actions whatsoever. Women are as fragile as a balloon filled with air, they can burst at any time. They can be your journey to Heaven and also your journey to Hell. They can be your uplifting and also your destruction.
Women are easily moved by what they hear and see, you can’t blame them for they are naturally curious, sometimes to irritation. But it is your responsibility as a man to be patient with them, use your tongue on them and not your fist. They can heavily provoke you, sure we know that….discipline them by wisdom which you can get from God through the elders or prophets. But at any point in time, in life, never ever result to using your fist against your woman. If you do that, they will lead you to sin against God, it would become uncontrollable and hatred would be fueled in your home. You would surely get addicted to fist discipline until damage beyond repair is done in your home.
May God give men all the good and upright qualities they need to enjoy their spouse and raise their home. In my next article, I will be focusing on women and their responsibilities. Have a good week ahead comrades.
